We live in an age where everyone can – and often, eagerly do – share their opinions on anything. From political issues to pizza toppings, we are officially a society ready to defend a side passionately.
And yes, it’s true: a gathering of adorable preschoolers, cutely decked out in caps and gowns, proudly holding their diplomas, is also not safe from such fierce debate. Try a quick Google search for “preschool graduations,” and you’ll find a screen full of links to articles decrying such ceremonies as “pointless” and questioning the impact of “celebrating everything.”
We have a side in this particular debate, and we’re proud to stand by it: YES. The pomp and circumstance around completing early education are worth it.
Here’s why:
Early Childhood Education IS Education
Rising preschoolers aren’t just about to start school – they are also closing out up to five years of academic and essential developmental preparatory learning. Preschool builds the foundational skills children will need and rely on for the rest of their lives. They have learned how to problem solve, build friendships, recognize and self-regulate their emotions, and so much more. Upon completing preschool, these children have made significant strides in developing their unique identities, and their peers and educators have become an essential introduction to community and society.
As an early childhood educator connected to hundreds of others, I am confident that, collectively, we see the many pathways that a child goes through in these beginning years. Children go from crawling to running, saying their first word to formulating their own stories off the top of their head. From biting and pushing their peers to inviting friends over for more dramatic play (be that “restaurant,” “grocery store,” or “house”). Through this critical play and early connections, they are both learning how to try new things and building upon a necessary resilience and emotional intelligence that can then continue to flourish through childhood, adolescence, and adulthood.
Your children learned A LOT from birth to five, and it wasn’t an easy journey.
Consistency in Celebrating Milestones
Remember that first coherent word? Or when they first officially walked – and I don’t mean when they happened to piece together four awkward steps before plopping down, I mean when confidence and gross motor mastery came together, and they proudly strutted across the living room floor?
You likely exploded with praise, pride, and possibly even some relief. You may have even caught it on camera, cried, or shared the news with family, friends, and strangers alike. It is something you have documented and captured in your brain – as Pixar’s Inside Out would describe as a “Core Memory.” If a moment feels like a big deal to you or to your child, then it should be treated as such! These were shared milestone moments for your child, you, and those surrounding you both. This is not something we want to fade over time from our memories – we want the memories of celebrating who our child was at this moment in time to last a lifetime.
Finishing preschool is another shared milestone moment.
Preschool graduates about to enter Kindergarten have developed expectations, aptitude, and even appreciation for social, emotional, and educational standards that will continue to serve as the foundation for their lifelong associations with learning. THAT’S A BIG DEAL. Preschool graduation has nothing to do with praising children for learning shapes, letters, and numbers; it’s entirely about recognizing each child’s proven capacity to learn and to love the process in which learning takes place, even when it’s difficult. The celebration proudly and (often) loudly assures everyone: YES, YOU CAN LEARN.
And for any adult who may struggle to pay attention through the program of songs and names, remember that “you can learn” is basically the introduction to “you can do hard things” – a mantra that serves many of us through most of our lives.
As children and adults, it’s advisable to recognize and celebrate endings intentionally. Meaningful endings can support strong beginnings, and participating in traditions and collective recognition can also strengthen emotional intelligence and resilience.
Honoring a Partnership
Don’t get it twisted – while preschool graduation is mostly about the kids, everyone deserves a round of applause.
Teachers, administrators, and families of preschool graduates spend hundreds of hours considering, supporting, and sometimes even stressing over children’s progress. The conversations, the planning, the details on how to get that child to each milestone were long and tedious and sometimes exhausting. All very much worth it. Letter recognition may have been initially difficult for some children who now confidently read or write first or last names. A timid four-year-old may have evolved into a five-year-old who now whole-heartedly owns the “line leader” role.
The connections between school and home, teachers and families, are powerful – the reinforcement of values, shared activities, and fostering of friendships develop an authentic community of people going through the same stages of life in the same place at the same time.
Now, those relationships are coming to a close – or at the very least, a change.
Adults who dedicate time and patience to helping usher children through the preschool stage earn and deserve acknowledgment—be it through a hug, wink, high-five, fist-bump, whatever—it’s important to take time and space to share the truth that, yeah, this took a lot of hard work, and we did it, and it was worth it.
Showing Up: Is it Ever a Bad Thing?
If you’re showing up to preschool graduation barely containing an eye roll, wondering if there’s any merit to celebrating “everything,” maybe consider this:
It’s well documented that growing up is hard and, often, only gets harder. It’s also well-documented that people need people – nearly as much as oxygen, clean water, and a healthy approach to nutrition.
Establishing responsive relationships with trusted adults during childhood is one of the greatest indicators of prolonged health. A small moment of celebration for your child can actually hold a big place in their heart about who they are: someone worth showing up for, who accomplished something large.
How could it be bad to set a child’s expectation early on that the adults in their life will show up (even if it means consciously containing an eye roll)?
Preschool graduation is so much more than an extra ceremony – it’s a figurative bookend, on the left side of the shelf, of your child’s education. Over the next thirteen years or so, they’ll fill that shelf with their ongoing, laborious, formal education. When it’s time to graduate high school, that ceremony will serve as the right-side bookend for that particular shelf.
It’s entirely up to you on how you choose to feel about preschool graduations – and while I might not necessarily be able to change your mind, I hope I can offer this alternative: consider the perspective of the young five-year-old who is looking in the crowd of their preschool class to find their adults cheering them on and the moment of joy they experience to find you there. If anything, can we all just take joy from the simplicity of that moment? They looked for you and you were there.